All Together in Isolation
I’m calling out to you world! This is really weird. Have you ever experienced anything like this? I’m sitting here trying to be normal (and I’m not doing such a bad job!), while the news changes and updates, and the world basically closes up shop. I mean…this is really weird.
What is different about resilience amid the Covid-19 pandemic? I don’t know that I can really put my finger on it yet.
I’m still getting up every morning, jumping in the shower before work, and commuting downstairs to the basement and my huddle area to put in my 8+ hours. If business can happen, it needs to. What’s strange to me though is how exhausting this can be. Especially when I’m saving at least a couple hours a day from 57 through the Dan Ryan (those are Chicago highways for all you non-Midwesterners). I’m happy and grateful to not only be working, but also how things are going amidst a global crisis. However, unlike previous stresses and personal crises, work isn’t compartmentalizing the stress and providing a way to divert attention. Are you going through that too?
My son’s last day in school was Friday, March 13. Since then, he’s been getting a daily flurry of work in every subject. The “school day” feels like a 6-hour homework assignment. My wife and I feel like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill only to start over again the next day. He misses his friends. He misses rehearsal for Cinderella, and choir, and getting geared up for baseball. Tonight, he told my wife, “I feel stressed. And scared”. Has your kid felt scared as well?
And it seems that on a daily basis, my wife, my son, and I have at least a 15-minute period where we could potentially just lose it and lash out at one another. On some days, our paths don’t cross during that period and there is nothing to report. But on others we crash right into each other. Had one of those days, have you?
I can’t go out into the world anymore right now unless there is a good reason. Groceries or prescriptions, or to address work at home needs. What used to comprise my personal space is now my jobsite, the school building, and the epicenter of my closest relationships (and all of the stressors that come with it). It’s like living in the Twilight Zone! You can relate?
Yes. This is definitely not normal. But there is something that’s giving me hope. It’s you. You’re going through it too. I am not alone. We are not alone. I don’t wish for anyone to have to go through something like this, but if it’s going to be anyone, I’m glad it’s me. And I’m glad it’s you. Along with that comes a burning thought through my brain saying… ”everything is going to be okay”.
When we connect on a conference call or a zoom meeting, I can empathize. Even as we dive into the work I understand that in the back of your mind, there is something looming. And every now and then your kid walks in front of the Zoom camera and I can relate. And it’s hard to watch your long days turn into 50+ hours a week at the home desk.
When I see you post on social media about this e-learning opportunity for our kids that we are all thrust into I know that it’s not easy. That every day is like a sand-timer that’s just dripping grains as we huff through the educational wilderness. Does it leave you tired?
And you might even be getting stressed out by the close proximity to everyone at home, all the time. Heck, you may have even gotten into a few spats like me, and the only place to turn away is the corner. That’s possible, right?
And you’re at home too. You’re not taking fabulous vacations or eating meals at fabulous restaurants, or taking pictures at the ballpark, or in front of The Bean (even though you could finally get that selfie without other tourists in the photo). You may have been motivated like me that first weekend to do a full court press house cleaning or practice new music on the piano. But then the second weekend approached, and you’re not feeling the energy of writing your next album or novel, or doing the family craft project. You might just want to stream Ozark Season 3 by yourself. I feel I can connect with you about this.
We are in this together. It’s the one big thing that helps me from day to day. It is one of the truest forms of connection I’ve ever experienced. It’s uncomfortable. It’s unusual. It’s unfamiliar. And It’s heartening.
I don’t have a universal answer or wisdom to share. But let’s keep talking. We could have an online Parent Café or talk on the phone, or be active on social media, or just simply be alone and meditate.
You know what? I don’t think resilience is different during the COVID-19 pandemic because this is like any other challenge that has come before. And like those that have come before, I will make it through. And knowing that you’re going through it too, helps me understand that we all must make it through. This isn’t permanent. This is change, and it feels weird. And we will emerge on the other side, stronger. Not just me. But you too.
Join us at our daily webinars and look forward to the virtual Cafés that will be coming soon. Those of you who already do cafes, we’ll be hosting free online training for “Taking Your Cafés Online” Wednesday, April 8th and Friday April 10th. Learn more about that and stay connected to others in the Café Community of Practice Facebook Group and Facebook Live with Sara Gonzalez and Sarita Sashington Tuesday and Thursday nights, Spanish at 6PM CT and English at 7PM CT (this private FB Group is open to anybody trained on Be Strong Families Cafés).